There’s lots of talk about reconciliation in the Church these days, at least among some folks.  At the recent House of Bishops meeting in Texas, the question was raised whether or not the various factions within the Episcopal Church could ever be reconciled to one another (the Presiding Bishop suggested that “irreconcilable differences” was a faith-less concept).  The Diocese of Western Massachusetts recently hosted representatives from four other dioceses, to work on a model for fostering reconciliation in the Church, respecting one another despite differences.  Indeed, scripture tells us that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, and that our mission as Christians is reconciliation with God and one another.

So what IS reconciliation?  What does it look like?  How is it achieved, and what are its limits?

It is all too easy to fall into a Hallmark greeting card notion of reconciliation – a Disney-esque land where the sun is always shining, the birds are always singing, and we are all holding hands with beatific smiles on our faces.  Such a notion belies the hard, hard work that reconciliation is.  In the supreme act of reconciliation – Christ’s death on the cross for our sins – there are no smiles and no singing, but a lot of pain, blood, and agony.  Why should we expect our reconciling work to be any different, or any easier?  Christ’s reconciling work came at a great cost, and so will ours.

Finding oneself estranged from another – whether a co-worker, friend, relative or spouse – and then moving to heal the rift, requires sacrifice, risk-taking, and anxiety.  We can never be assured that our attempts to reconcile will be met with an equal commitment to healing the relationship.  Sometimes, our efforts are rebuffed or thwarted; sometimes, we hear things about ourselves in which we hear the ring of truth, but which we don’t relish hearing; sometimes, a situation is made worse by our efforts, rather than bettered.  Nevertheless, reconciliation is what we are called to by the God who laid down his life for us on the cross – in order to make reconciliation between us possible.

What we are trying to figure out right now in the Episcopal Church and in the Anglican Communion is whether or not we can be reconciled to one another despite our different opinions about the issue of homosexuality, or whether different interpretations of scripture make “irreconcilable” our continued relationships across diocesan and national bounds.  I fiercely contend that we can hold on to one another while we have this debate, that we can love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ (and mission in His name) while disagreeing about this issue.

I am often asked how I can act reasonably graciously toward those who vilify me.  Let me speak personally.  I am not a saint.  I have feelings, and I am hurt, or outraged, or saddened (and sometimes all three!) by statements that are made about me, by people who have never met me.  But by God’s grace and with God’s help, I try to live out my commitment to reconciliation in the Body of Christ by remembering 1) that my detractors are children of God, 2) that Christ died for them as well as for me, and 3) that I have promised in my baptism to respect the dignity of EVERY human being, not just the ones who agree with me.  Am I always able to muster such godly magnanimity?  Of course not. (That’s why we also promise that when we fall into sin, we repent, and return to the Lord.)  And when I do exhibit that kind of grace, it feels as if it comes as a gift from above, not something I achieve on my own.

But such reconciliation, such generosity of spirit, never has agreement on issues as its prerequisite.  Instead, it says “I’m going to treat you as a brother/sister in Christ, no matter what, no matter how much we disagree.  I may disagree with you, try to change you, even fight with you, but I will never write you off, never leave the table, never take my marbles and go home (or anywhere else), never proclaim our differences to be irreconcilable.

There are some people now in the Episcopal Church calling our differences “irreconcilable.”  Some of them are working for the destruction of the Episcopal Church as we know it and as it has existed for 200+ years, and working to have themselves proclaimed the “true” expression of Anglicanism in this country (they have finally become open about this goal).  They seem to have abandoned reconciliation as a goal and mission of the Church.  They may have given up on “us,” but I, for one, will never give up on them, whether they come from next door or half way around the world.  If Christ can bear the pain of crucifixion for our reconciliation, surely we can bear some pain to be reconciled to one another.

As we enjoy this wonderful summer season in New Hampshire, let us keep the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion close to our hearts, praying for one another, and praying especially hard that we might find a way to be reconciled with those with whom we most disagree and whom we most misunderstand.  Surely our great God will answer such prayers, for reconciliation is God’s hope for New Hampshire and for the world.